Dir: Norman Jewison
I've got a great idea:
There's a cult seventies film set in a sinister future world where mega-corporations control all society, and in turn control the population. Individual liberties have been sacrificed for the greater good. We see this world through the eyes of a sports hero, a hero in a violent sport, of which the violence is one of the tools used to control the masses. It is a story of future gladiators, of individual freedom, of the danger of powerful corporations.
It's satire, it's dystopian, it's an action film, but with a real message.
And since 1975, it's become so much more relevant. We now have cage fighting. The corporations have merged in just the way this film predicted. Individual liberties and privacy are under attack more than ever before. The physical wars with the Eastern bloc have given way to economic wars.
It's unbelievable how much this film predicted.
Let's remake it!
It's got to be a hit.
Let's change it.
We must remember that nowadays we are making films for fifteen-year old comic-book fans.
There's no way they want to think about the future.
So let's take out some of that social commentary stuff. We can't take it all out of course. After all, if we leave just a little of it in, then we can answer criticisms about the film being overly-violent, and point out that it is a comment on modern society.
But even so... look let's just cut the whole futuristic thing. What does it add? Let's set the film in the present, right now. Make it contemporary, up-to-date.
That means we can put in some heavy metal music in as well. Teenage boys still listen to that, don't they?
And the main character... Who could we get who has that raw, masculine power, the granite resolve, the power and the presence of James Caan?
I know - He'd be perfect...
That kid from 'American Pie'.
What else has he done?
Oh yes, 'American Pie 2'.
And he played that sort of dorky jock in 'Election'.
His apple-cheeked all-American wholesomeness will be perfect.
And you know how we can make the 'Rollerball' games more scary? Let's put them in helmets with, like, painted skulls on them, and give them pointy ears like little devils or something. That'll be so cool!
But seriously, if we have Chris Klein in the main role, he's still kind of a kid. Maybe we should surround him with some really serious actors. How about...
LL Cool J. He was in 'Charlie's Angels' so we know he can act real good.
I can't believe this! This is going to be so... way cool!
But it still needs something more.
What is it?
Tits! Of course. Teenage boys love tits. Let's get some girl to show her tits!
Oh wow! I'm exhausted now, after coming up with another blockbuster Hollywood movie. But then, that's why I earn the big bucks. Where shall we go for lunch?
(The remake of 'Rollerball' in 2002 scored a quite extraordinary 3% critic approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It returned a worldwide total of $26m having cost $70m)